Happy New Year everyone!

I have been hearing criticism for days because George Bush remained at his ranch after the devastation in Asia.

Tell me it isn't so!

Follow the Clinton staffers.

Marlon Brando's former business manager, Jo An Corrales, is suing Brando for $3.5M, alledging sexual harassment.

Sometimes, the “girl's night out” poker game turns into a strip poker game. And what would that look like, you ask?

You hear of things like this, and you think to yourself, “That only happens to other guys, not me.”

As everyone knows by now, there was a huge earthquake that caused a tsunami in Asia that has killed, at last count, over 50,000 people. This is a huge tragedy which I feel will only get worse once disease starts setting in. I hope that is not the case, and my prayers are with everyone over there.

100 Things About Me

What are the libs to do? Oh yeah, start attacking Easter.

Well, Christmas is now over, and like the lights on the exterior of my house, the Christmas theme here should probably come to an end before Monday.

I've never been big on dressing to impress anyone. Every job I've ever had allowed me to wear pretty much whatever I wanted to.

I meant to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, but circumstances were such that blogging wasn't an option the last few days, so here's a belated Christmas wish for everyone. I hope everyone got some good gifts and had some good times.

I'm dreaming of a... What? White Christmas my ass! Someone call Johnny Cochran. Yes, right now, you cracker-ass cracker!

Here's a situation I don't need

I went to McDonald's for lunch today. Had the Texas Homestyle Burger combo. Very McTasty.

Well, it all depends on how you arrange them.

Kind of has a nice ring to it, no?

This song has hamsters.

You take the golden “AN” and put it in the tan van.

There's a new version of Piano Man up over at Eric's place. Now, if we can just get him to record it and send us an MP3...

Unless you're allergic to cedar, which just started germinating here. Arrrrrgh!

I was listening to a talk show earlier today, and a caller said that they were watching Christmas Vacation over the weekend, and when they got to the part where Aunt Bethany was supposed to say grace and she instead said the pledge of allegiance, the word “God” was bleeped out.

At first, Enus was suspicious when his wife asked him to make her vibrator go faster.

Billy Bob was proud knowing that his car was now the fastest one in town.

Kevin, being tired of sending out the standard boring family photo for Christmas, decided to spice things up this year.

You'd think someone at Disney would have noticed the title wasn't quite right...

Earlier tonight, I went to a Christmas party. They had asparagus. I love asparagus, but I couldn't bring myself to eat any.

Execpt this time, the baby fights back.

Wanting to show his support for his favorite race car driver, Earl came up with a novel idea.

Mary Jo was flying home for Christmas. She wanted to take her cat with her, but could not afford a carrier from a local pet store.

After removing the meat from the deer he had just shot, Bubba had an inspiration for a new doorbell.

Jethro studied hard for his final exam in sex ed class, but it wasn't going as well as he had hoped.

Being a technogeek and blogger, it is imperative that I have an Internet connection handy at all times. Currently, being on an airplane severs that digital bond.

Hat tip to this apple brandy wielding, red-headed slut making, get everyone so drunk they can't recall who did it to them gentleman for the this set of rules for drinking.

Gumaro de Dios Arias.

I was in the mall yesterday. I was headed for Brookstone to purchase a gift, and happened to pass by Santa.

10. A registered star. Yeah, this is something I'll get a lot of use from. Even if I could even find the damned thing, what the hell good would it do me?

Speaking of Christmas parodies, this is one I was going to post later, but it seems it's actually topical now.

A popular song this time of year wishing everyone a Merry Christmas in Spanish. There is another version for drunk drivers.

“God does not exist.” - Nietzsche

Found this photo on the Asian Vegan blog...

This one should be a caption contest.

I woke up this morning and remembered the dream I had the previous night. I don't remember that many of them, but this one was really weird.

My copy of “Invasion” by Michelle Malkin arrived today.

I'm going through my list of Christmas parody songs, and some of them are not exactly the kind of song you'd play for your parents. In fact, most of them are.

Remember several years ago when there were all the allegations of naked women in ice cubes and other such instances of subliminal advertising?

Beer.

Everyone loves Christmas song parodies.

Don't know what to get that your favorite conservative person for Christmas? Well, look no further. American Lady has put together a wonderful selection of gift baskets for everyone.

I'm trying to add a little Christmas cheer to the old blog, and my development environment went belly up, so I'm experimenting with my live site.

Hooded winter jacket with large inside pocket to conceal identity & carry gun:: $65.00...

Wow, I'm shocked.

Next up on the auction block, the Democratic Party...

One of the most important things in winning a race is getting in and out of the pit as fast as possible. In light of that fact, it is advisable not to upend your pit crew with your car.

Balloons. I want balloons. But not just any ballons. I want some of these balloons.

Wait, there's no such thing. And two morons can get together and produce an offspring.

A billboard is stirring up trouble.

Things like this never happen to me...

While browsing around, I came across an article titled “Church defrocks lesbian”.

Turns out that males are biologically predisposed to want to come home after work, plop down on the couch, and watch TV.

No wait. That's just what used to be in an airplane's bathroom...

Conspiracy filmmaker Michael Moore was so devastated by President Bush's election victory last month that he refused to get out of his pajamas or leave his bedroom.

Happy Hanukkah!

Today is December 7th, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why all my Sony stereo equipment quit working today. I'll have to look into that.

A little late for Halloween, but for the family who wants to keep a costume theme going, and spend thousands of dollars later in life for therapy for the kids, look no further.

When you're breaking chairs on cruise ships.

Aaron seems to be in need of employment.

It is now three years since someone forwarded me this in an email, and I still find it funny every time I watch it.

Gonna upgrade my code. You never know what's gonna happen, so hopefully I won't blow my site up.

This is the story, of a man named Alan, who was busy decorating his front yard...

In my rush to get to work today, I completely forgot to bring anything to eat with me to the office.

Did anyone ever give you a fruitcake? If they did, hopefully you removed them from your future Christmas card mailing list.

More on the fight in Fallujah.

Video courtesy of Sondra K.

It seems I have turned my blog into a cabinet of curiosities today.

Seems Nick has been swimming in the kiddie pool...

They're so much fun to bash. So, without further ado...

I've seen a lot of people posting about this commercial that NBC and CBS are refusing to air. But there's also another commercial that's been banned in Los Angeles as well.

Everyone has their favorite. There's “Miracle on 34th Street” and “It's A Wonderful Life” and even “The Santa Clause”.

Here's the latest...

On the heels of Michael Moore's admission, Matt Damon said to Diane Sawyer during an interview that that supporting John Kerry was, "financially, the stupidest thing that [he] could do".

I've got money on Riswan.

I was going to use this space to beg for votes in the 2004 Weblog Awards, but since I didn't seem to make it to the voting round, never mind.

I think most reasonable people would say no. However, without empirical data, that's just an opinion.

Your current wall calendar is on its last legs. 2004 is coming to an end, and you're on the lookout for a new calendar, right?

If you're using a GPS navigation system, try to use some common sense as well...

I just got a hit from Google for someone searching for “britney spears fart cameraman”.

I've been a large mammal for several weeks now. I'm know I don't have that many links.

I'm not one to collect copious amounts of ringtones, but when holidays come around, I try and get something topical.

It's a coloring book called Gay-time. And the cover has a gay-looking guy on the cover. With a goat's horns up his ass.

You know it's definitely the Christmas season when you receive your first Christmas card.

Those of you that have seen “Team America” will no doubt remember the, uh, theme song, for lack of a better description, about America.

On arriving in Ottawa yesterday, Dubya addressed the crowd...

What happens when Ferrari outsources to India? Funny things...

Sean Gleason has more details. Ah, those meddling kids...